thoughts on changing the world

How do you change the world?
Ask a handful of people this question, and you'll surely receive a diverse set of answers. Is it even possible?
I've been called a passionate person probably more times throughout my life than I have hairs on my head. It's true, I am passionate, but I've always translated my passion as common sense. Why wouldn't you be passionate about something you believe in, about something you care about? Isn't everyone passionate?Yes! But, passion about the uncomfortable tends to be assigned a category, and tends to be explained. It needs to be given an excuse.
Working to change and end an oppressive system aint easy, especially when I live, and often times thrive, in that same system that irks me so much. Trying to tell someone that the ideas and actions that they know so well, that are second nature to them, are oppressive and hateful; That the systems that are set up to protect and govern their lives are actually hurting us all, isn't a trip to the beach. What do you do to something that makes you uncomfortable? You reject it. Being an activist often sets you up for a level of rejection that you wouldn't believe. People are afraid to make eye contact with you, are afraid to speak to you. They write you off as a naive trouble maker. You feel as though the entire world is on a different page. You make enemies with strangers, and strangers of the people you love.
Okay, okay. Perhaps I'm being dramatic. But, it's true. Making a life and a profession out of social change is isolating, and exhausting, despite it's many perks.
But, hey. I'm fucking passionate about you. I give a shit what you say, and how you make people feel. I always have. When your ideas, or the way you express yourself makes others unsafe, or makes others feel lesser than you are, I turn into a monster. A loud, angry monster.
I'm physically weak. I could never climb the rope in 5th grade gym, and ask me to lift more than 50 pounds as a grown ass woman, would surely embarrass us all, but I can take someone down with my words and fury faster than I know what to do with.
As I age and become a more visible, and 'professional' activist, I have had to consider my passionate expression more than ever. I've had to grapple with where I fit in, what my role in the movement is, and how that affects my identity. I've had to work on changing what it looks like, and redefine it. What allows my voice to be most effective?
How the hell do I change the world?
I'm discovering that to change the system, you have to be a part of it. As a true 'punk rock anarchist' at heart, accepting this is challenging, and even sometimes heart breaking. I always pictured myself living in protests, and doing what I want, where I want to do it because it isn't hurting anyone, and because it's my fucking space too. Learning that this set me up for more isolation, and for more rigidity from the others took a lot of painful years, and a lot of painful lessons.  In the end, I want people to listen, and to hear. I want my voice to be respected, and honestly, I deeply want to do the same for others.
I still don't know what it all means. I rack my brain and my heart on a daily basis to try to figure out the balance of working within in the system to change it, and with the piece of me that isn't afraid to say the hard things, no matter who you are. After all, it took me a long time to find the courage and strength to be comfortable in speaking out, in being a strong, visible, and assertive woman, because remember, the world doesn't quickly warm to those.
I'm thinking that with more patience and time, these things will become clearer and more developed, and I'm continually grateful for the things that allow it to be so.